Devaneios de uma desvairada

Here we are again, entertaining each other. Sitting and sipping our tea, showing a new way we found to distract ourselves from the nonsense. Giving, somehow, a certain sense to each other. I value our interaction, and how we can try, come, go, fall in and out of each other.   We’re not very sure when to meet and what exactly to exchange. So we sit and watch ourselves,  together, apart, absorbing more. I’m curious, I’m always curious. It’s a beautiful way how we exchange, I find. I learn that you are you and I am me, therefore our ways to give and receive might differ, and this lesson is endlessly valuable.   The exchange per se doesn’t mean give the exactly same as received, but learning ways of expressing how you like to give yourself. There are feelings, a vast range of them. Good and bad ones. But I don’t mind feeling them when you’re the one I’ll share with.   I catch myself learning new way to tell my story. I see possibilities that I didn’t know about. Chaotic silence, peaceful n

I'll start this from as earlier as I can remember. As honest as my memory allows me. As detailed as I can cope with. I'll try to continue and not give up, or into fear. I'm here. Nobody ever told me I needed a partner, I remember however, as a kid, thinking that the most beautiful human interaction was love. Being seen and entertained by someone other than yourself came across as the most outstanding exchange two beings could have or do for each other and themselves. I came to that conclusion myself, through my own eyes, as a very solitary child that truly watched and observed her surroundings. I valued when, by putting some thought into which checker to move next on our checkers game, my grandfather gave me his time, thoughts, and attention. I have always understood when people truly wanted to  exchange therefore always struggled with shallow quick interactions. They never translated the magic I could see in people, how interesting and wonderful they could be. So never ful